My morning shower ritual runs something like this:

• Flush toilet

• Turn hot water tap all the way

• Wait until toilet stops running (approximately 3min.)

• Pull shower plug

• Wince at strange, strange noises shower plug makes

• Test water with hand ... sigh

• Bow, let the dance begin

• Turn cold water tap ...

• Nothing happens

• Plie

• Turn cold water tap 1/8mm more ...

• Step back as arctic spray explodes from shower nozzle

• Arabesque

• Turn cold water tap back 1/16mm

• Attempt to force hot water tap over ... sigh

• Plie, grande jete...

• Settle on not quite hot, not quite cold, not quite strong but at least exuding from shower nozzle shower, just like every morning

• Crumple into artistic heap on floor

Yeah, yeah, everyone has water pressure issues in IV, but dammit, it just should not be this way. You know how, normally, the water spray is narrowest right next to the nozzle and then it expands outward as the shower flows down? Right, not here. Actually, that point where the water comes out of the nozzle is the widest our shower gets. From there it kind of ... tapers down. It's as if the water molecules have decided that we arent worth the effort and just collapsed back in on each other.

You know when you stick your soapy head under a sink faucet, and yeah, your hair is getting wet but its not quite enough to actually wash the shampoo away so you have to kind of squegee it out with your hands? Thats my shower every morning.

It's gotten so that I don't even recognize a normal shower. When I was in Salt Lake City over Easter weekend I stepped into the shower and shrieked. Shrieked loud enough that my mom came over to see what had happened. What had happened was the the water had shot out of the nozzle, fire-hose-like, with the strength of ... a normal shower. I spent the rest of the afternoon exclaiming over the water pressure and getting wierd looks off the rest of my (non-pressure deprived) family.

Normal college students want to go home to do laundry. I want to home so that I can take a damn shower without having to run around in circles to get wet.

10:42 a.m. April 23, 2004

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“Y’all aren’t from around here, are ya.” - August 21, 2005
1:20 – 2:30 – 5th period. My Waterloo. - June 29, 2005
You know I love you. I’ll never hurt you again, baby, I swear. - May 18, 2005
Don’t be jealous. Not everyone can be us. - March 13, 2005
Conclusion: Albertsons is hiding the good Ice Cream from me. - March 08, 2005

The Many And Scary Ways They Get Here
stealing co-worker's panties ... Clio's Boobs ... Lindsey Lohan Panties ... urge to pee bad ... see through undies ... ado nudiste ... glimpse of my panties. ... vibrating excersizers poking through ... William Hung phone number ... UCSB girls are stupid ... sitting wearing short skirt ... Drunken Spring Cove

Quote of the Day

"They have lots of disturbing cross sections of animal reproductive organs"

Worried by

The fact that I just walked upstairs and saw one of my new housemates standing on her desk chair slowly revolving in circles for no apparent reason.

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