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Your One Stop Shop For Bad Grammer!
I type here for your (questionable) enjoyment a conversation I recently had on IM with “Bitty” and “Bo” (names changed to protect the ... well, you’ll see). This is not an exact transcription, as that would make no sense. Spelling and punctuation has been seriously cleaned up, however all of this was at one point typed or referenced from other conversations. Um, good luck. WARNING! This post contains explicit (and kinda disgusting and personal) information. It is not suitable for children or my mom. It started with three separate conversations, everyone talking to everyone else separately. Then we started to get into the cut and paste action: Bitty: Bo and I are talking about why we think she judges us. Anne: Hah! I'm talking to her about her ass. I win! Bitty: She just told me that she was thinking about me when she put her tampon in... I think I win. Unfortunately. Anne: ... :: ::: Bo: Yeah, it’s been so hot today. Anne: You ... told Bitty you were thinking about her when you put a tampon in? Bo: That traitor! Anne: Bo, I... Bo: Ok, you know how she’s all obsessed with the word “twat?” Anne: Yeah ... Bo: It popped into my head, ok. :: ::: Anne: So ... our band is the Ass Dimples Bitty: No, we totally need to be “Brain Fart and the Ass Dimples” Anne: Ok, but I want to be an Ass Dimple Bitty: Me too Anne: So who gets to be Brain Fart? Bitty: Bo. Anne: Of course. She can play the jug. :: ::: Bo: I ... get to be what? Bitty: Brain Fart. It’s been decided Bo: Ah ... right. :: ::: As the evening progressed we just gave up and got a chat room Bitty: Well, this is better Anne: Yeah, now you can’t report on what we say behind each other’s backs Bo: Just to our faces Bitty: Bo wanted me to announce that I am sex deprived Anne: Well, join the club Bitty: Oh, I’m the President, didn’t you know? Bo: Aw, my poor little tampon fantasy. Bitty: Ok, what!? Bo: Come on, it wasn’t that long ago Anne: Yeah and it was pretty damn memorable. You’re a little slow aren’t you Bitty? Bitty: Anne’s a TWAT! Bitty: TWAT, TWAT, TWAT! Anne: Hey now, let’s not encourage Bo. Bo: Great, now I’m going to think about both of you next time. Anne: Y’all are just lucky I use pads. Bo: I thought you just stole your roomie’s? Anne: Shhh... I’m pretending I thought they were mine. Bo: I’ve done that. “What do you mean this shampoo isn’t mine!?” Bitty: Anne, TWAT Bo: And this cheese Anne: Whose was it? Bo: What, the cheese? Anne: No, the twat. Bitty: What twat? Anne: The cheese twat. Bo: Well... I do like cheese. Anne: I am now picturing a “twat” sculpted entirely out of velveeta. It’s an interesting mental picture. Bitty: Oh. My. God. You guys, “Cheese Twat and the Ass Dimples.” Anne: Oh god, it’s perfect. Bitty: I still want to be an Ass Dimple Anne: Me too Bo: So I’m ... Cheese Twat? Anne: Ladies and gentlemen... introducing Cheese Twat on the jug! :: :::And with that I think we have a sentence never before typed by mankind. I could go on. There was the section of the conversation where we all text orgasmed (everyone picked a different vowel oddly enough) and then there was the discussion about the prostitute smiley, but I think I’ve given you all enough to be scared of for one night. 1:02 a.m. April 28, 2004
“Y’all aren’t from around here, are ya.” - August 21, 2005 |
The Many And Scary Ways They Get Here Quote of the Day
"They have lots of disturbing cross sections of animal reproductive organs"
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