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Your One Stop Shop For Bad Grammer!
So lately I’ve been think about the AOL IM smilies. ... Oh my god. That is one of the saddest things I have ever typed. If you ever wanted to know how empty my life is I think that says it all right there. And I’ve not only been thinking about it people, I’m going to blog about it. And right after that I’m going to go ask my mother if she ever dropped me on my head when I was a child. But first, the smilies. Not to go all Seinfeld on you, but what is with some of these? Take for example, this one And then there’s this little fella My personal vote for most confusing smiley ever goes to this guy “What is that in his mouth?” “Whose mouth?” “ “Ah, the pot smoking smiley.” “The .. what?” “Pot smoking smiley. Dude, the brothers at AIM finally stepped it up and brought out a smiley for the common folk. One that we can relate to; look up to as a role model.” “Ok, that smiley is not smoking a doobie!” “No? Then what the hell do you think that thing is?” giggle “Um ... hee ... um, nothing...” “Come on.” “I always called it...” “Spill it.” cough “blowjobsmiley.” cough “What?” “I call it the blow job smiley, ok, the blow job smiley.” “Heh. Like I said, a role model.” ... And it’s not like there weren’t other, better smilies just begging to be made. Consider this: ~ Amount of times I’ve used blowjob smiley: 6 (and all in discussion about what the hell was in its mouth.) ~ Amount of times I could have used an eye rolling smiley: 389 kajillion. And counting. Seriously ask yourself, how many times have you needed (and I mean needed) an eye rolling smiley? In fact, this entry is getting so ridiculous I bet you could use one right about now, couldn’t you? Huh, couldn’t you? Well, I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “But Anne, what about all those cute and fun customizable smilies they advertise in 1 out of every 4 pop up windows? Why not just use those?” I say to you, “Pffft.“ Yes, pffft is what I say. Don’t you see, it’s the principle of the thing. We live in America. Land of technology. Land of I-want-everything-and-I-want-it-free-and-easy-right-now-dammit. I want better standard smilies; I need better standard smilies; gosh darn it, I deserve better standard smilies. So, AOL, you better get right fucking on it, or I may just have to take my non-paying business elsewhere. ...and the hoooooome of the braaaaave. 1:07 a.m. May 07, 2004
“Y’all aren’t from around here, are ya.” - August 21, 2005 |
The Many And Scary Ways They Get Here Quote of the Day
"They have lots of disturbing cross sections of animal reproductive organs"
Worried by The fact that I just walked upstairs and saw one of my new housemates standing on her desk chair slowly revolving in circles for no apparent reason. Good Reads
Tomato Nation Fun
Television Without Pity Games
Copter Game Useful |
. The AIM smiley page calls it “indifferent.” I kinda thought the smiley was attempting to eat a dollar bill sign. Hey! Greedy smiley, symbol of corporate America. When Dick Cheney IMs with his peeps? He totally uses that one all the time. 
. Poor guy, he wants to speak, really he does, but some sick bastard has duct taped his mouth shut. The AIM smiley page helpfully labels this one “nospeak.” For all of those instances when you need to IM a friend to tell them you’re not speaking to them. 
. I have had honest to god actual debates with friends over this one.
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